Why are we here?

How is your friend bucket doing? It’s time for us to revisit the friend bucket. We’ve only chatted about it once which points out the exact reason we need to talk about it. The friend bucket is one of the easiest to be shallow and to be at risk from going from shallow to empty.

Does this story sound familiar? Your friend asks you to hit up a happy hour next week after work. You quickly reply yes but on the day of you’ve been busy at work, your kiddo had a rough morning, and your house is a mess. You really want to cancel on your friend. They’ll understand, right?

Shaun’s Story on Friends and Cancellations

Bachelor and bachelorette party planned for separate weekends by Shaun and Casey.
Both received cancellations on the day of. This seems like a trend in today’s generation/society.
We’re all busy and it’s easy to come home after a tiring day of work and want to let your commitments slide. The commitments with your friends are some of the easiest to convince yourself it’s acceptable.
We’re here to tell you that not putting the focus on committing to your friend bucket is detrimental in multiple ways

Kolby’s Research

I’ve personally fallen into this trap – I think we all have
It’s easy to forget there are real-life people behind the commitments we make.
- Example story – You RSVP to a dinner party and on the day of deciding you’ve had too stressful of a day to attend
  - There are obvious non-relational impacts such as how much food is purchased for a party or event, but even more impacting is the effect on the personal side… the friend bucket.
  - Your friend is now left wondering if you ever wanted to attend or if he/she is the reason you canceled.
  - Your friend bucket becomes leaky
Not committing to anything may seem the more noble approach, however in the case, are you really that different from the person that said yes and didn’t show?
- Life is about taking risks and sharing in moments with others.
  - Have empathy for others and that your presence may be the positive impact they need in their life and in their own friend bucket
FOMO – You can’t sit back and wait for something better to come along. Your friends, family, and the related buckets need your attention.

Tips

Look for ways to cross buckets. We’ve talked about this in the past, but friends are interesting as you can share buckets.
1. Double dates (friends/relationships)
2. Activities together (friends/hobbies)
3. Grabbing a happy hour together and discussing career topics (friends/career)
Get in the habit of committing. Either committing to something or not committing at all. Stick to your commitment or lack thereof. Don’t commit and cancel and don’t decline and show-up.
Setup routines to ensure your buckets never get to low.
1. Regular activity nights
  1. Golf, softball leagues, gaming nights, happy hours, etc.
2. Stop believing time is going to free up – Get it on the calendar! Your time will always fill up with something else. How many times have you had a family function or hung out with a friend and said “we need to do this more often”. Then do it!